Ten years ago, I remember hiding in my bathroom for just a few short moments at a time, clutching my little bong and exhaling out the open window. I was anticipating the inevitable siren call back to the responsibilities waiting for me on the other side of that closed door, bracing myself for the call that break was over.
“Moooooommyyyy!”
Five. More. Minutes… please.
Susie Homemaker. That was the role I played. I was clocked in 24/7, spending all my time raising babies, keeping up with the house, and preparing meals on a repetitive loop that never seemed to end. I slept with tiny elbows and knees digging into my back or shoving me off the bed, showered with the curtain wide open while Lego sets or baby dolls were played with on the bathmat in front of the tub, and hid in my bathroom to smoke weed, convincing myself I loved this role I was playing. I told myself I loved being Susie Homemaker, that I loved the life I was living.
But I didn’t.
In those moments of toking refuge behind that closed door, I was only keeping the constant creeping feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness at bay so I could muster the strength to continue in my denial. While I love my kids, and being their “mommy” more than anything on this planet, I was never built to be that kind of mom.
And guess what? That is perfectly OK.
A decade later, I find myself fully embracing the kind of mother I have always been meant to be. So long, Susie Homebaker, and say “hello” to Susie Stonedbaker, kids. The days of bathroom bong-hiding are long gone.
I’m no longer spending my days keeping up with the house or changing diapers. For the last six years, I have been lucky enough to call myself an employee of the legal cannabis industry. In this space, I’ve found myself surrounded by women and mothers who reject the taboo and negativity surrounding moms who smoke weed. Instead, we proudly wear the “canna-mom” badge for all to see, including the kids.
Yeah, you heard me right. Including the kids.
I’ve never hid behind closed doors to give myself a bolus of insulin. I’ve never felt like I had to shield my kids from seeing me check my blood glucose, and I’ve always openly and honestly answered their questions and curiosities about my juvenile diabetes. Marijuana is my medicine, and using it has always been crucial in helping me face the adversities and challenges of my health, both physically and mentally.
The stress I face in raising my children, working full-time, managing my diabetes, and just existing in our day-to-day lives plays a large part in my health. High volumes of stress can lead to fluctuating blood sugars and a variety of other issues. I’ve always found marijuana to be the most effective remedy for keeping those dangers away.
Call it mother’s intuition, but from the moment I began my career in cannabis, I knew I had to be as open and honest with my children about this plant medicine as I’ve always been about everything else I use to sustain my health. I’ve educated my kids about this medicine to the best of my ability, feeding their understanding and answering their curiosities as they come. I know in my heart that the most important effort I can put forth in destigmatizing marijuana has to start within my own family—and most importantly, within the young minds of my children.
I’ve never wanted to force the acceptance of how I choose to medicate on others around me, only to nurture it. I never want my kids to feel ashamed or embarrassed by what I do, but instead, feel pride in the passion I have for advocating for this plant medicine that plays such a large part in my tales of healthcare and motherhood redemption.
We are all lucky enough to be living in the infancy years of what I believe to be the Renaissance age of cannabis, and to stand in this space in tandem with motherhood is a truly beautiful place to be. This plant itself is the embodiment of feminine strength and power. It even exists as both a “child” and “mother” in its lifetime, facing adversities and challenges—a living testimony to the same formidable strength that calls upon those of us women who chose the path of motherhood.
There has never been, nor is there still, any kindness in this world when it comes to being female or being a mother. To bear the love and responsibility of raising my children will always be the most gratifying role I have been lucky enough to fulfill in my life, while also being the hardest. It is the duty of society to uplift and empower the women filling this role with acceptance and love, and the same should be said for this plant medicine.
In the midst of this Renaissance, we have the most extraordinary opportunity to paint its Golden Age with streaks of green by embracing and emboldening the acceptance of the “canna-mom” era.
Every mom’s journey with cannabis is unique, shaped not only by her needs and beliefs but also by her will to find empowerment. As our stories unfold, they remind us that motherhood, like cannabis, is nothing short of a beautiful display of resilience and courage. It is finally our time to redefine what it means to be a strong and empowered parent—and to embrace the Susie Stonedbaker kind of mothers that some of us are truly meant to be.
Photo by Abstral Official on Unsplash (Cropped)
