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Josh Blue’s Animal High Jinks

By Josh Blue

Over the years, I’ve had many people ask me if marijuana helps with my cerebral palsy. No, it f***s me up more. I just like getting high!

As a touring comedian, I do over 200 shows a year. Everywhere I go, people are excited that I come from Colorado, where weed is legal – but I want everyone to know that I have been treating it like it was legal for years!

In many of the places I travel to, I could be incarcerated for smoking, but it’s a risk I’m very willing to take. Like once, in the San Diego airport, a large, muscly K-9 cop recognized me from television. We shook hands and talked about my career, all while his dog sniffed the air around me. Now I thought I was playing it cool, but he smiled down at me, and said, “Don’t worry, Josh. It’s a bomb sniffing dog!’

I let out a nervous laugh and clapped him a high five. Once we got that out of the way, we had a really great conversation, and the dog could tell I was too shaky to make a bomb.

Another weekend, I was on the East Coast doing shows. I was waiting for my ride, and smoking weed out of a red apple. An apple is my favorite travel pipe because you can find an apple in any airport.

From down the road, I heard the clip-clop of horse hooves on the uneven cobblestones. Through my hazy gaze, I realized it was a mounted officer. My paranoid stoner logic was convinced that the horse was going to smell the apple and lead the officer right to me.

As I was playing over the scenario, the horse took a hard left, crossing in the middle of the street straight towards me, making the nightmare come true. I swallowed hard, but then realized the cop was smiling and waving at me. “I’m so excited you’re in town,” he said, pulling the horse’s head nose-to-nose with mine. “Me too. Can I feed your horse an apple?” I replied as I presented the delicious treat.

Before he could answer, the horse devoured it in one bite. My ride arrived right then, and I giggled the rest of the night imagining the horse fancy-dancing down the street.

All of this is to say that police with animals like me. I can’t wait to meet a cop with a chimp.

 

Featured image courtesy of Josh Blue

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  • Cannabis & Tech Today is the premier publication for inspiring business profiles, exclusive interviews with thought leaders in the field, science innovations, and insights on new legislation and growth in the cannabis market.

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